Uhm…Could you please?

img_20160328_144933So here’s another one for you to introspect and retrospect.

When you find yourself in a situation where you think something is wrong, do you tell it as it is? Even when you do tell it for its truth, is your tone the right one?

Being at dinner with one of my friends triggered inspiration for this one. There was basically something wrong with his food and the staff completely denied any issues with the food. The situation then escalated to name calling, raised voices and anger. Things which could’ve been avoided with a simple change of tone. Think of any simple conversation, like asking someone to pass the salt. This can be said in a calm, soft tone or a loud, hasty one or even worse, with unintended underlying sarcasm. Each of those would have a varied impact on the conversation and the possible impression you may project.

So here, my friend went with the loud and hasty and the staff member chose to stick with underlying sarcasm. You know with that combination, the situation could’ve only gone into a downward spiral. These are people who are open to and are trained to deal with conflict. Imagine being in this situation as a person who avoids conflict at all costs and really being helpless in calming the hot-head your friend’s turned into.

If you’re anything like me in this scenario, you would rather talk things out, shy away from conflict and walk away before things escalate too much. The title itself shows how far I could and would take this situation, “Could you please change this portion?” or just “Could you please take this away?” That’s it but that’s just me. If you’re more like my friend, who needs to give it to people as it is, then the manager will be called and words will be had. This brings me to the question at the core of all this, how do you pick the right way to deal? Just with you mood? or with the place?  In my opinion, snapping in public works against you in every way, it pisses the staff off, makes you look like a stuck up snob and increases your chances of never being able to eat at that restaurant again 😛

So note to self, and to everyone else, think of the time and place you’re at, the people you’re with and think of the next hour when you’ll curse yourself for being the obnoxious customer who ruined the staff member’s day. Think, RE-think and then act, always.

 

Unfamiliar family-arity

Getting used to living away from home having spent all your life in that protective arrangement becomes one hell of a change. For me however, it didn’t seem so. I settled in pretty quick and smoothly, surprisingly quick. I didn’t miss home, I could fend for myself and my heart never sank for going away ever. This easter break however, my heart sank, so hard. It was a short three-week break but it came at the right time. I was long overdue on a good night’s sleep haha.

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Being home this time felt like I had never left. I picked up right where I’d left off before university. I was the little kid again. Don’t know if it was the excessive love shower from my family, the lack of “omg-she-just-came-from-london!” attention or just the fact that I’d properly spent time with my best friend (yes, the same person my last post).

For the first time I realised that I’m not the only one keeping my problems from my family to save them the worry but they do the same. My mum was at the hospital the day before my arrival but no one told me. I didn’t know when I let her carry my backpack and I didn’t know till she handed me that plate of breakfast. This was familiar for I had always been treated like a child but unfamiliar as nothing was ever kept from me.

Similarly, somethings happened when my friend visited (which cannot be discussed on here) but being back home, seeing him almost everyday, talking to him on the phone every night was like going back to 2013. It felt similar but wasn’t exactly for I was completely different person compared to who I was back then.

This brings me to this aching question that keeps propping up, Am I really growing up? or just growing apart? Since my move to UK, the people I truly care about from back home can be counted on my fingers alone and if I can’t even care for them then what’s the point of me? I haven’t been able to answer this question and maybe I just can’t so in my creative-writing-escape style, here’s conclusion with poetry!

This time I spend with you, feels like it flies by. 

It’s happened a couple of times before, but never seemed to affect me so. 

My focus is a bit blurred, my mind’s all over the place.

It’s not the person I miss so much, but the warm embrace. 

Asking for you is like crying in the  rain, 

Only I see the tears falling, only I feel the gnawing pain. 

All washes away when I see you smile, 

tears, agony, pain, all worthwhile. 

At last there’s just this to say, 

my thoughts and love surround you , even if I’m thousands of miles away.

 

 

Blur.

The title here might make you think, “oh god. Another soppy post.” but NO. This one is about happiness and people that make your life worth living.

So, if you’ve read my previous posts, you might know that I’ve had to move away from home for my education. This is something I would suggest everyone to do, at least once in their lifetime. Living away from your home, your country gives you the experience of meeting new people, seeing new places and most of all, making new mistakes. Might sounds absolutely cliche but mistakes are a major part of who you are as a person.

cropped-img_8099.jpgMy best friend from back home recently came to visit. He’s been friends with me for years and it was amazing to have him come visit from thousands of miles away. Those four days,five nights brushed past. We spent almost every second of that time together. This might make me sound absolutely horrible but that just made me sick. Having him around 24 hours a day just showed me how much I’d changed and how he hadn’t. I won’t go into details but I can say with certainty that everyone who’s moved away will experience that at some point in time. It is nothing short of an out of body experience, looking at yourself in the present and comparing it to the past. You no longer fit into that niche of your past self, no matter how hard you try or pretend. However, this is nothing to fret about. The fact that you learn and grow trumps the comforts of home. The fact that your family treats you like an adult is worth much more than that car your dad might have gifted you. Anything and everything that was handed to you at home, becomes a jewel to earn for yourself when you move away.

This is the main gain that you get. You become yourself just through YOU, NO ONE BUT YOU. It’s your hard-work, your strife that creates a new niche for your better self. One that you explore through introspection and at the end of the day no one can take credit for your success.

The future becomes a vision just out of reach and the past is a mere blur. So take charge of the moment and grow, bigger, better and stronger.

 

 

Catch and Release

First post of the new year and I’m already onto a stress rant. Life’s hard on everyone, or so I’ve been told. It’s not easy to flourish equally in all spheres of life and is particularly evident in the lives of those who’ve taken on maybe a bit too much.

Time is an incredibly important aspect of any and every person’s life. Be it spending time with someone, wasting time on something or making time for yourself. Most of us forget the ebb and flow of time thereby, not realising this sand slipping away from the hourglass. This is the point when it comes to making choices, picking your battles and cutting down. Focus on things that satisfy you, intellectually, physically and spiritually. This will allow you to focus on things and people that you truly love and uproot all (probable) causes of stress in a person’s life.

Recently, I’ve fallen under a mountain of work making me feel unorganised, lost and hassled to the point where I couldn’t eat, sleep or even think! Again, time comes into play here, I had to make the choice of how I want to spend my time, clear my mind of all the unnecessary rubbish that’s been bugging me. Every person knows exactly the kind of things they need to do to de-stress and regain composure. For me, that would be travelling, exploring and people. St Ives today gave me just that, no rain (thank god Britain!), bright day and the best people. Walking around the city, talking to people about things completely detached from work and just sitting by the seaside, listening to the waves build and crash gave me the clarity to think, rest and just be, peacefully. I finally felt the fatigue resting on my eyes but also lightness, almost like a burden lifted off my shoulders.

All such experiences entail important life lessons, the ones like this one particularly. This makes it evident how we’re actually free and privileged to have the kind of opportunities that we do. Another lesson being, give time and take time; allow time for things to fall into place and take time off as and when needed.

Keep your eyes open to catch but keep your mind open to release.